Dreams

my favourite quote by Leo Tolstoy

Lately I've been feeling uninspired to do much art, maybe I'm just a little lost on my way but the drive to draw isn't as before. I'm not completely sure why or what happened neither when. I just know I need to get back on that train. I miss that adrenaline rush to solve a picture. 

Wakako is putting me in charge of the Kingsley Machine soon. I'm a little nervous but I'm glad to be trusted with extra tasks! 

Last week I had the chance to hang out with Jen! She was visiting from Canada, and we went to the arboretum. Thankfully it was a really really nice day and the walk was so pleasant! I really like going out for walks, especially around nature. I'm sure it will all come back to me some day. 

I'm starting to enjoy my time here in the new apartment; and the pupper is happier too! We are so grateful to have the sun shining in our lives again! Though it will be hot during the summer, I much rather have that than no sun at all. We are also enjoying our walks outside in the neighbourhood (when it's not 4C outside). 

We are probably going to slowly start exploring the neighbourhood for good food too~ Karen was craving sushi so we went to a restaurant near by! It was pretty good! Looking forward to find the good spots to eat!

Heart on my Sleeve

onion that survived our move and started to sprout...

I can't believe I'm this bad at blog updating!!! Last week the pupper got collitis and it was just a warzone between us and her butt. Anything relating to LiLi's health always stresses me out. She's getting old and I just want her to have the best life possible. Thankfully a visit to the vet and going to work on the next day helped me destress a lot! I think the move finally took a toll on me (and LiLi) last week. I was exhausted like crazy! 

this cute little poo machine

happy sunbathing plant children

Anyway, the apartment is mostly furnished now. I think we still have to work out how to place our bikes and get one or two more shelving. Possibly even add a plant shelf! They are all so happy to be here. 

little gift from Judy, sweetest customer at work

baked a cake for coworker's birthday

I've been thinking a lot about how sensitive and prone to emotions I am. I just carry my heart on my sleeve, and it's pretty transparent too. It makes me so intense sometimes, I don't know how my friends put up with me. I now watch my boss at work who also carries her heart but in a much more calm way. She takes time to reflect and think about the things that affect her and don't let it bother her actions until there is clear reason to. I watch her and think that it's pretty admirable because my reactions are pretty instant (laughs). I'm looking forward to learning more from work. 

quick postcards I managed to squeeze in!

Lately I've been thinking how wholesome most things in my life has become: my cute little family and my nice non-stressful work. I think the last thing I want to work on the most is finding out where I want to go with art, as I feel I've been held back in that area of my life for some time. I want to be inspired and draw lots again!

he grew a lot!

As I finish this blog post, I have to go tend to a present LiLi left me... It is what it is!

Moving

helter skelter

 I feel like the moment I'm about to catch up on things on my plate, other things start piling on again. Crazy! Over the weekend more paperwork arose for ensuring some proper legal works. Will the struggle with the paperwork ever finish? Stay tuned to find out!

Jokes aside, no particular theme for today's post. Just some pictures of the week!

A little postcard surprise from Job (ytube: jobsjournal). I love the postcard image, it's a piece of my dear Canada. I got a little mail from Kelsey, a long time patron, it's very cute mori style pokémon stickers!! A New Years postcard from hakumo a really old friend. We don't talk at all during the year but she always sends me a postcard - without fail!! But this time there's no return address so I'll have to maximize my stalker skills to find an address to send back!

On Sunday, Karen and I saw this interesting tree... And later I met up with one of my friends with a Mina Perhonen cover for her Hobonichi.... So beautiful!! It's reigniting my desire for a nice cover. I forever regret I couldn't get my hands on the Sometimes Lucky cover...

Karen and I made time in between packing the apartment to go on a little date. All that matcha softserve is for me by the way. My NRT Traveler's Notebook is starting to grow on me finally. I just loved my Brown so much - but after having customized the cover a little more, it made it feel more me! Still always loving the yosegi charm - it's pricey but I always love looking at it. And the second picture features the Tokyo Train Station Traveler's Notebook that belongs to my friend Annie :)

That's it for this week! By next week I will be at my new apartment!!! Excited!

Mail More Love

So since the last post, I have dropped off the face of the earth due to the very deadly flu that has been going around. Right after I posted two weeks ago I literally was bed ridden for 2 more days, then out of commission for the next week... and only today, right now, do I feel like a normal human being. What a crazy experience! I feel so bad for my wife who saw me in this sub-human state. But I am back, and things can only go up from the bottom!!! And to be honest, many things have happened since the last post... It's almost overwhelming. I will touch on a few items towards the end. 

Recently got a postcard from Fiddy and Satchi!

I drew a Koi postcard to reply Satchi :)

But today I wanted to write about postcards!! 

Over the years I have amassed a large amount of mail I received from friends around the world. It happened quite organically, in a way that I didn't notice, until I had to think about it one day. I've always enjoyed receiving things in the mail, and that fostered a love for sending good words out as well. With the advent of the internet, I can communicate with my friends at leisure; this makes mailing posts more like a treat! What I mean is that nothing too seriously grave is discussed, as we talk about those things in real time.

Sometimes I wonder how people in the old days manage to get any communication done... 

What really fostered my love for written mail and sending packages was my time corresponding with my friend Yi-Wen. I loved her posts to me! What was special was that she always drew a little image. At the time she lived in London, so I also received special british goodies. In the end, though, it was always her letter and little piece of art that made my day. 

February postcards! The California postcard is a Baum-Kuchen x TSL piece :) I just coloured it with watercolour

Since then I've had years when I've sent a lot of mail, and others that were less inspired. This year I really wanted to get back into it! So much that it is one of my new years resolution: Mail more Love!! Working at my job I realized how just a little extra touch in the things we send can lift the whole intent of the package. So I will be a lot more dedicated and careful about how I choose to send mail out this year! My hope is to do it steadily once a month, and to draw a little something if time allows. I'm so excited to get back into it!

I've included pictures of my February postcards in this post. It's a little early but that's because we are moving!! We actually weren't planning to move till March but the right place came up and we snatched it up right away. It's larger than our current place (not so important) and recently renovated (very important) - and close to my work! I'm looking forward to walk to work all the time! I'm also looking forward to happier pup and happier plant children!! I'll surely post about the moving process in the future!

lil forest spirit from cynthia 

recently bought a Monstera child, and had to separate him

Hello 2018!

Happy New Year!!! 

Since it is just my wife and dog and I at home, things are calmer than with family. Both our families are a little scattered around the world - and I don't really want to connect with mine just yet anyway. So it's the year of a very quiet Holiday Season, giving lots of time for quiet reflections (and in my wife's case, a lot of time for freelance). I've also come down with a cold the first day of the New Year, that means the rest of the year will be okay, right?

As new years roll around, everyone in the planner community is excited to start on their new books and are motivated in how to change their system to help them work more effectively. It's a super exciting feeling to start a new blank book - I sometimes wonder how do we carry this feeling throughout the year.

This year I am excited to use some new and old analogue tools!

+ Hobonichi Techo A6 Japanese

This will be my 3rd year using Hobonichi Techo! I've tried the Weeks in 2017 but it was too small, so I've switched back to A6. The first year I was gifted a Hobonichi 2016, I inadvertently committed myself to draw daily comics in it. It was a lot of work!! So in 2017 I've stopped. But since then I've felt less attachment to my journal... which is very unfortunate; so I will be trying to keep it a habit again! It leaves a little less space to write, which is alright, I've always wanted to keep Hobonichi as a happy journal! If given too much space, I start writing nonsensical things, so less is sometimes more!

+ Traveler's Notebook with Weekly + Notes

I've figured out last year that Weekly view with space for notes on the side is my favourite format for planners. It gives me space not only to write gratitude memos but also note some stuff I might not want to write in the weekly space. I'm really glad TN weeks started mid December because I simply couldn't wait to get started on it! That Midori paper is just beautiful; I love the cream colour so much. And as with the Hobonichi, it's super important for me to have paper that is fountain pen friendly! I know Fiddy bought the Weekly Horizontal so I'm curious of how that turns out. 

+ 36 Sublo pocket date stamp

I've been low key hunting for an appropriate date stamper, and recently saw this really really cute pocket date stamper that my boss uses on her correspondences to me. My coworker informed me that they were all sold out everywhere, but that she had an extra one she was willing to part with. It was the guitar+amplifier motif so I removed the rubber and added a little self carved frame. I'm so grateful to her generosity, and I can't wait to literally date everything!

+ fountain pens

One of my new years resolution this year is to only buy 1 fountain pen. I've gone way crazy in 2017 and honestly I already have my holy grail pen: Pilot Prera and I don't need to have more. I'm going to start letting go of some of them online and stick with my favourites. I'm not sure how much I can cut down, but we'll see! I really want to give more love to what I have.

In the coming months there will be lots going on. We are slowly looking for a new apartment, and I am in a frenzy to look for way to decorate and make a place our own without losing our deposit. I'm also on a plant fever frenzy! I bought quite a few within the week and I'm excited to see them grow. In 2018, I am hoping to make a home in Los Angeles! 

On Being Anxious

Recently I finally decided to finish my little comic/journal about my anxious episode and change. Actually, I was moping around that day since an event I was part of did not go the way I had envisioned. I was gonna do nothing all day but half way through I just powered through lining the comic. I had started working on it a year and half ago, and in that bout of blues, powered through it in two days. 

When I feel sad about my state of art, I feel it's ok to pause a little and take time to be sad. It always gives way for me to foster some kuyashii feelings. I get up and want to get better. 

At least that's how my creative circle goes!!

I posted the little comic on issuu. If you make an account you can download the PDF :)

Last week was quite a busy week! I received my Travel and Work permit from USCIS, in time for my work interview that was lined up two days after! So.. now, a week later, I'm going to start working! I'm so excited. It's not animation, but it's definitely something I love. And I'm glad I'll be surrounded by really lovely people whom I am eager to learn from. I am looking forward to grow on this job!

Else, it was a nice Thanksgiving, getting together with some friends. I made Banana Bread cake with Strawberry Glaze. The Glaze was a nightmare, but seems like it became good as it dried... Miracle!

Karen and I made a trip to the beach as well as a wonderful sushi experience at one of our -now- favourite sushi places here in California.

I'm still trying to see what schedule work best for the blog! I think it will be important for me to set up some blog themes lined up. I know nobody reads these really but I'm gonna try to be consistent and then share as things stabilize!

On LGBTQ+

It's hard to gather thoughts about this week into an organized fashion. Mainly a lot of disappointment and frustration towards what happened in the elections. On top of that, there are some personal news that added extra stress to the week. I wanted to just formulate into words some feelings about being ... me.

I never felt the need to come out to the internet, but if I had to come out officially, it would be now.

I was born into extremely conservative parents. Not only are they Asian, they are also religious to the point. Now, they may argue that they share love for all people - but c'mon, they're religious asian parents. Get real. My parents ironically were not helicopter in grades but in values and behaviour. I can't tell which is the lesser evil: helicopter grades or helicopter moral and behaviour? One can argue they're all bad either way. They are ignorant and very much in denial of life outside their religious circle; about how average normal people are like. Basically they stick within their circle and everything outside is evil. When one of my sibling decided to stop going to church, it was a preview to the apocalypse to them; they were depressed for months on end. When the sibling decided to move in with their significant other, they wanted the sibling to get married before doing so. Insert confusion [here].

So that's my parents. Now me.

I am the eldest of three, I grew up in a bubble. This bubble was well padded with religion. I didn't know life outside my religious bubble. Imagine me becoming attracted to girls in my late teens. It was hella weird. To be honest, I thought I was just admiring girls in a .. very infatuated way. I did date guys in my teens but it was nothing serious. A few years down the line, I actually started dating a girl - which didn't last long (see: lasted too long). And even then, I fought with myself: I was breaking the rules. It took me a long time to accept myself. I made the right choice to not tell my parents, and took my time to come to the facts. I know that my parents would never accept this.

A little while after, I fell in love with the most amazing girl. Literally the best person in my life: patient with my shortcomings, chill, loving and kind. The healthiest relationship I've ever had the chance to cultivate and strive for. We're not the perfect couple, but I love her like crazy. It was then I fully came to terms that it was okay; it was okay for me to be me. Being loved by this person and being accepted by this person so completely helped me to accept me.

I came out to the atheist sibling, and they were quite enthusiastic to have a lesbian sister (much as if I was a brand). The sibling told me that my parents would understand just as they've come to accept my their way of life. I don't think they understand how much heavier of news my orientation would be compared to the heterosexual relationship they are pursuing. This is a completely different level of transgression; a sin so severe that had civilizations of Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed. Needless to say, I quickly discarded that suggestion. In fact, I'm dead set on never telling them: it would cause too much grief on both parties.

Choosing not to come out is a heavy choice. It's hiding who you are, it's being unable to tell another person who you are. You are not able to do this because you sense the danger of judgment or discrimination. There are people I absolutely love at church, but when they address same gender relationships it makes me realize that there will be people who won't love me anymore when they know the real me. This is a very somber realization. I don't blame them if they would stop loving me; we fear the unknown, and most of them have no idea about homosexual individuals (let alone the rest of the acronym).

It is so freeing... to be able to be who you are. To be surrounded by an environment who accept you for who you are or just treat your being as normal. I was elated to be able to move to the states with my girlfriend. I get to live my own life, choose my own path, pursue my dreams.


I can be me.


Then the elections happened.


The dreams I have are now shrouded in uncertainty. Not only am I homosexual, I am Asian, I am female.



It is crucial to give people the freedom to be. Creating a safe, loving, open-minded space is an imperative to the well being of our society. I have felt the cage, I have felt the freedom. No matter what happens, I hope I will always remember this, and to be able be an example of love, empathy and open-mindedness. I know I have a long long way to go (oh boy!); but I have to keep trying.

Never give up on love.

On Fountain Pen Week

Anyhow, it was a fun busy week! Things are getting into motion so I hope to try to blog about it and record the events. Though to be honest, I do more than enough recording so I don't know why I need to lay my life out even more.  I'll try to schedule posts and make sure there are contents to post about. This blog is probably going to be everywhere...

I was really excited for Fountain Pen Day this week! I just like looking at everyone's pens to be honest. I don't know what it is about them that's so enchanting. Maybe because it's such a personal experience for everyone. Also because I'm a stationery geek. For some reason I can't believe I only got into fountain pens in February. There will probably be some stationery posts later on :3

Speaking of stationery, I've been throwing out a ton of things since June. I've discovered Kondou Marie's cleaning method. So I have been getting rid of my surplus and things that I haven't been using like crazy. Thankfully my friend Carey is open to receive all my stuff (including a giant box of zines I had to shed). Practising KonMari method has really helped me to descern what I like and be more careful of my purchases. Like many artists I've.... had a art supply/startionery buying problem. The addiction is coming along...thanks to Karen.

The main reason why I'm going through KonMari and weight shedding is because I'll be moving down to California to be with Karen in January!!! We are so excited!!! We signed our apartment papers recently and we have a place together now! I'm so excited to finally make the move down for the next chapter of my (and our) life. I'm finally taking step to make the transition into the animation industry. I will be working hard to try to make this as smooth as possible! But seriously excited to hang with people too haha

Oh I'm bringing my dog with me too!

Food blurb: This week Carey and I went to lunch, and found that we had room for dessert. We spontaneously went to get BingSoo (shaved ice). I was pleasantly surprised that it was the fluff shaved ice which I have yet to try. It was amazing!!!! Can't wait to go again!